Diary Of A Crush

D'ya know what really doesn't help when you are trying your goddamn hardest not to fancy someone?
When they walk around shirtless.
Yer. Cheers for that.

My best friend hates me.
I deserve it.
I can't say anything to make it better.
I fucked up, I gave in, I forgot to live and learn. I made my mistakes again.
I don't even know what to write here

edieson x

The more I listen to Charlotte Sometimes, the more I like her.
The music isn't the most original thing i've ever heard.
But I believe more females should write songs about sex.
FACT

miss edieson x

I'm feeling a little bit tired to the point of awake and bad to the point of good.

I'm really in love with this Charlotte Sometimes song at the moment.

You can have me dye my pale skin
You can beat me, I'll love you while I bruise
You can take me, drug my chapped lips
You can hurt me, I'll love you while I trip

But do you think of her - hands on my waist?
And do you think of me when she screams your name?

Don't want you to drug me up, it all just hurts too much
Don't want you to drug me up, your torture was meant to be love

Do you want it?
'Cause when you fuck me
You are loving me and I am owning you
Do you hate me?
Want to teach me that my place with you
Is lying on my knees?

But do you think of her - hands on my waist?
And do you think of me when she screams your name?

Don't want you to drug me up, it all just hurts too much
Don't want you to drug me up, your torture was meant to be love

We can have a pretty house
We can have a pretty car
We can have pretty things
I know that's what you are


That's all
Miss Edieson x
 

I see the signs
I've walked the line
Being almost wreckless isn't new to my mind
But i'm careful enough
To steer clear of drama
Learnt just the right time to slam the brakes

Can we stop this in its tracks
Before its too late to go back
Truth is neither of us wants to walk away
And we know that

I could fight back
Pretend that i'm immune to you
But happily intoxicated I just can't refuse
Crossing the line
I should not give in to this
Knowing this is wrong effects me way less than it should

Can we stop this in its tracks
Before its too late to go back
Truth is neither of us wants to walk away
And we know that
This is carcrash territory

You're all limbs and posh boy chic
And honestly i'm feeling a little weak
Corrupt me, please

Can we stop this in its tracks
Before its too late to go back
Truth is neither of us wants to walk away
And we know that
This is carcrash territory



miss edieson lighthouse x


 

 i'm sorry, but i am the most confused right now

y'see, my ex, who i have to work with, was in work today, and when i looked at my rota to see if i had managed to get a shift so i didn't have to see him, i noticed he had changed his shifts, so that all of the shifts i had changed coincided with his.



i'm so confused

if somebody hates you, then why would they seemingly go out of there way to be in ur vicinity?

i just don't get it

i think we need to talk quite desperately, but for some reason, he shows no sign of remorse, despite the fact that he has gone quite above and beyond the level that i hurt him, by using other people to get to me and just generally acting badly to me

yet he is far too proud to admit that he is actually now more in the wrong than i ever was.



and it iritates me because evertime i turn around, there he is, looking at me

and i don't get it

because he doesn't want me

and he says he hates me

yet he seems to be near me every chance he gets

and stares

and it's, like, if u want me back, then u can ask or try and get me

i'm not saying its gonna work

but u can try

rather than playing mind games and trying to confuse me so it is even harder for me to get over things

he is blatantly not over i

and i just think that we should talk

because what is really now the worst that could happen?

seriously

charlie

xx

I'm so bored right now it is actually untrue, I want something amazing and fun to do. I don't know what that something is right now, but I plan to find out.

I've tried really hard to find something to occupy myself with, but no matter how much I try to focus on my career or whatever, my mind just seems to wonder. I mean, there are no dance classes in Leeds over the summer that I would be eligable for, unless I did like a one week intensive thing. Even then, it's only lasts a bloody week, and then what do I do with the other five I have left or whatever it is. Come on! Tell me this!

I just want something exciting and different to happen. I want to meet somebody who will wisk me away some place. I want to see new horizons, try new things, and just live life to the full!

I don't know why I feel so caged at the moment, but I just want something new and exciting. Maybe I should just move somewhere? This is, of course, easier said than done when your skint, working at Asda, and the only place you can get to is Leeds.

I do plan to change this though. I don't know how, but I am going to have an amazing summer.

I've decided =]

i'll be allowed to post on here anymores
=]

CarriePRESTON

I'm failing art.
Well i'm going to get a D.
Which is failing in my eyes.

The only person I can think of that i really want to see right now is at the other side of the country.
I'm completley irrational, I'm stupid, I'm letting myself think and feel in a damaging way.
But if I were to see said person right now, I wouldn't be thinking full stop.
This is just my luck.

This is car crash territory.
Welcome aboard.

miss edie
x

It's just been brought to my attention that I have really hurt someone, without even knowing it.
I can't change the past or manipulate people's feelings. This isn't my fault.
Yet it feels like it is.

miss el x